Day 14: San Francisco (4)

The trip has to end with a laugh, and oh boy does it ever. Today was kind of a wild card for Mary and I since we had already done nearly all the big name things to do in the city. Granted, there are ENDLESS activities, but by today we had pretty much had our fill of running around. We started our day by getting breakfast at Dottie's True Blue Cafe, which even at 1030 on a Monday morning had a line out the door - you know it has to be good. After waiting for 40 minutes we had a life-changing breakfast involving freshly baked coffee cake, lamb sausage, and an egg scramble with Avacado and a hint of Jalapeno. To die for.

Since she got here, Mary had the idea to rent bikes and ride them around Golden Gate Park. In words it sounded like a simple and relaxing way to spend an afternoon and check off yet another item on our list... oh no. Our 40 minute bus ride to an obscure neighborhood housing the bike shop made it very clear very quickly that this was not what we had bargained for; and it didn't stop there. When we actually got the bikes I realized that the last time I was seriously on a bike, my parents were living in Pembroke and I was still in boy scouts. As I heaved myself onto the seat like some drunken college student trying to escape the cops, we noticed that not only were our surroundings that of burnt grass and dying trees, we were only supposed to be riding on designated paved roads- where they were, we had no idea. We finally veered onto some main traffic road through the park and zoomed past man-made concrete-lined lakes and more dead foliage. It didn't take us long to decide this was a very bad idea. After a pathetic span of pedaling intermingled with walking our bikes up small hills and general failing, we found ourselves again at the entrance to the park only this time instead of being at 6th street, we were at 46th. Somehow we had traveled forty blocks in a matter of 10 minutes - downhill, of course. We decided we were done and now had to ride the forty blocks back...uphill. Before we embarked, I got off to remove a pebble from my shoe only to discover it was not a pebble, but an enormous piece of broken glass that had lodged itself into the bottom of my sneaker and was now poking up through the sole. After a group effort of removing the glass with a key, we left, deciding to follow the main road just outside of the park so as not to get completely disoriented and have to ride the bikes for any longer than we absolutely had to.

As I clamored my way down the main street, I got off my bike to walk a bit as I was getting winded. As I got back on in my less than elegant fashion, I realized I was now on a main road being watched by countless passerbys. Surely one of them would see me in my pathetic struggle to mount a bicycle, whip out their camera phone, record it, bring it home and share it with their families. The laughter would bring the family closer together and in no time the video would be on youtube, labeled "Big Gay Man Gets On Bike", with 2.3 million hits and a guest spot on the Today show.

After I got over myself, we worked our way back to the bike shop, reminiscing our doomed choice and laughing at ourselves. We returned to the bike shop less than an hour after we left - one can only imagine what the shop keeper was thinking. We then proceeded to burst into hysterical laughter that would last well into the evening and treated ourselves to a cheap dinner at In-n-Out burger with dessert at Ghirardelli. Yum yum yum.

At this point I have one word: done. I am in love with San Francisco. I love being with Mary. I loved being with Michaela. I loved my trip. But I have been a nomad now for 14 days, always with the move in the back of my head. I am now ready to complete my journey and get settled into life in Los Angeles.

Tomorrow morning I leave at 6am for LA. It is possible I will not have internet access for a few days, but rest assured I will continue postings once I do. Thanks for your continued reading! And be sure to keep your eyes open when on youtube...

Day 13: San Francisco (3)

Today I received my education in pride. I never considered myself one for pride; a supporter of equality, yes, a fearless advocate of being true to oneself, yes... but pride? My perception of it was that of partying, spectacle - an excuse to go wild. I never viewed the whole pride enterprise to be of great value to the cause until I actually went to a celebration. I discovered that pride is in fact what forms the community and holds it together; it is the foundation for rights advocation. Whatever kind of gay you are, you can and should have pride in whatever form that works for you. There certainly were those who were there to party - Mary and I saw a total of 8 fully naked people just walking around amidst the festivities. Hey, whatever floats your boat (so to speak). There were also abundant drag queens, people in various forms of rainbow wear, gays with disabilities, immense clouds of marijuana smoke, etc. What really had an impact on me was seeing a strong family contingent. There were many young kids and their parents (both gay and straight) enjoying the festivities and learning that one can and should be as one is. Personally I will never be one for the spectacle, and in fact there were many many people just observing like me. But one thing is for sure: amongst all the craziness and fun, I never once felt out of place. I was most assuredly where I belonged.

Mary and I watched the parade for a bit, walked through all the booths in the civic center, went to the Castro and had some interestingly-shaped pastries, did some shopping, and overall just had a really fantastic day. This afternoon I had a minor personal scare as the moving company called me and informed me they are delivering my stuff tomorrow, the day BEFORE I'm supposed to be in Los Angeles. Of course being Sunday I couldn't call the moving representative until the morning, so I was sort of at a loss. Fortunately it has been resolved. I will not have to leave San Fran a day early, I will not have to wire money, and I will not have to chew anyone out. Great.

Quote of the Day

Me (in the middle of the parade): Excuse me, do you know where I can find pride?

Some More from Today

So I forgot to mention a fun story that happened last night. After dropping Michaela off at the airport, Mary and I drove to Haight to have dinner at a brewery called Magnolia. Parking in San Fran is like parking in any other major urban area - vicious. I tend to be a parking hawk, and to our luck, we found someone leaving a spot on our first loop around. Unfortunately I had driven too far down the hill to back up and get it. Mary, being the astute and feisty Boston dweller, offered to get out and stand in the spot so I could drive around the block - so she did. By the time I got back to her, there was an irritated hippy in a pickup truck trying to argue her out of the spot. Let me just tell you - she held her ground. He said he wasn't leaving - she said neither was she. During all of this I was in my car, unaware to what was going on, waving my hands, hoping she would just let the guy have the spot. She would do no such thing. We got our spot. Hells yeah.

Quote of the Day:

You know, if you Alcatraz the Alcatraz, that could lead to a serious Alcatraz, so make sure you keep the Alcatraz in the Alcatraz at all times - Alcatraz this, I'm Alcatrazing.

Day 12: San Francisco (2)

San Fran is completely amazing. I'm sunburned. I don't care. We did so much today it's hard to even comprehend. One thing is for sure, when you are in a city for the first time, money seems to fly out the window, though so far everything has been worth it, just a tad overpriced.

The days started off with a wonderful breakfast at a diner around the corner from our hotel. Our first move may seem like a very silly thing - we took a double decker bus tour. Now I'm not generally a fan of screaming "tourist!" from atop of a ridiculously huge red bus, but it does a loop of all the places you want to see, which was perfect for us especially since Michaela had to cram it all into one day. First stop was the Painted Ladies.

Then the bus took us across the Golden Gate bridge. Now for those unfamiliar with San Fran's climate, here is a good way to look at it. All over the news last night was the huge heat wave coming into the area in and around San Fran. Temperatures were expected to reach triple digits throughout the weekend. San Francisco just barely got above 70 degrees, which in itself was unseasonably warm. The weather in the city is consistently around 60 year round. So, driving across the bridge on the top of a double decker bus was frightfully windy and down right freezing. What's crazy is that the minute we reached the other side you could feel the temperature instantly get warmer. The experience was actually really fun and I got to take a kick ass picture of the bridge.

I was glad for this gorgeous day because the infamous fog was so thick when Michaela and I arrived, we could barely see the bridge at all. We have been so friggin lucky this entire trip. The tour then brought us to the Presidio, then to Ghirardelli Square where, yes, we bought chocolate. Mary and I had some clam chowder in a bread bowl at Boulin, the original makers of sourdough bread. Fantastic.

We finished the day with going to Alcatraz. Now, I have to take responsibility for the odyssey we had to undertake in getting tickets. I foolishly assumed that going to Alcatraz would be like going to the statue of liberty - you just show up and get on a boat. Not at all the case. The day before we arrived in San Fran I looked in my guidebook to discover that not only do you need to buy tickets, you need to buy them in advance as they often sell out. Well guess what - they did. Luckily we were able to acquire three tickets second hand from a vendor for way too much money, but such is life. The three of us were able to see it - I found it totally fascinating.

I have many more pictures. The top is the main row of cells the prisoners referred to as Broadway. The lower is a solitary confinement cell - they would shut the big green door and turn the lights out. Yikes! One thing I found particularly striking is how Alcatraz provides the best views of San Francisco. It wasn't just the walls and the bars and the maximum security - everyday the inmates were reminded of the lives they were not permitted to live. Freedom, life, substance were all in view, but just out of their reach.

After such a huge day, we had to say farewell to Michaela. As much as she wanted to stay with us and see more of the city, she was glad to return home and stop living her life out of a car/suitcase. I am so so grateful for the company and support she provided me on this trip. We traveled 4449 miles and spent 96 hours in my car (80 of those were driving). I surely could not have done it without her. Thanks, Mich - look forward to our next adventure! :-)

Tomorrow Mary and I will be spending the entire day in the Castro - it's the pride parade and everything that goes with it!

Quote Clarification

Apparently my anecdote of the day that involved Michaela's concern for her flight implied that she is afraid of flying - this is not the case. Michaela was not worried about flying, but rather about being bored and cooped up on a plane for the 6 hour flight home. She tells me she gets impatient on the one hour flight she takes from Virginia to MA. I hope that with all we did on Fri & Sat in San Fran combined with the previous 10 days of travel she was able to sleep through her flight. Let us know, Mich!!

Day 11: San Francisco!! (1)

This is it kids, the last stop before LA. Michaela and I made it, the car made it, and we're all in decently good shape. I blog to you from the king size bed in my four star hotel room in downtown San Francisco. The room was acquired at a steal price from priceline.com. Val the car is safely away in the hotel's valet parking garage, grateful for four days of rest before the last 380 mile leg of our journey. And, much to my delight, my friend since childhood Mary has come to join me in the city until I leave.

On our way down from Eureka, we drove through more of the Redwood forest. They really are magnificent trees. Michaela got wind of a tree so big you can actually drive your car through it. Yes, it's true. For $5, you drive into the woods where they have a car-sized tunnel through the base of one of the Redwoods. It was a fun little trick, though we weren't quite sure about the people who showed up in SUVs...

Arriving in San Fran today was a huge thrill for us. For Michaela, it means she no longer has to be in the car for an average of 6 hours a day. I too am glad that the bulk of our driving has come to an end. Our trip has been a blast, but the charm of being crammed in a car with a bunch of crap living on the road has... fizzled. I can now enjoy four carefree days here in the city.

Already my first semi-day here with Mary and Michaela has been frickin awesome. We rode the trolley from the hotel dangling off the side to fisherman's wharf,

saw the sea lions resting on pier 39,

had a burger at In-n-Out, had our tarot cards read, ate at one of the most acclaimed restaurants in the city, House of Nanking (chinatown), and returned to the hotel where I played the lobby's grand piano. We our now relaxing in our room as we're all exhausted from our respective traveling. We prepare for a very full day of running around seeing as much as possible before saying goodbye to Michaela. Alcatraz? The Castro? Stay tuned to find out!

Anectode of the Day

Today on our way to the trolley, Mary was the victim of an unexpected dive bomb attack from a pigeon, which actually hit her in the eye. She is convinced she now has herpes of the eye. Just goes to show we should always be ready for the unexpected attack of the pigeon.

Day 10: Coastal Highway and Redwoods

Ok so today was a really long day. We got in the car at 9am and arrived at our hotel in Eureka, CA at 9:30pm. But, even though there was much driving, it came with a renewed sense of excitement and giddiness that could only be brought on by two things: the west coast and cheese. The reason our day was so long was because we took Route 101, the scenic bi-way of the Oregon and California coast. In the first three hours of our day we traveled only 90 miles due to the fact that we kept stopping to take in the endless cascade of jaw-dropping views and self-taking photographs.

I had no real expectations for the route today, other than some good ocean. What I discovered was a road dotted with the smallest of small towns filled with equally small shops and seafood shacks all screaming to be explored. One side trip led us to a tiny little restaurant called Mo's that had some of the best New England style clam chowder I have ever experienced. I would have loved to stay at the place and sampled its entire seafood-only menu, but we had to keep pushing.

After endless miles of driving, we finally, FINALLY, after settling into the daily dose of delirium, came across perhaps one of the most exciting sights yet:

After driving for seven hours yesterday, we were beginning to doubt we would actually make it, so seeing this sign was quite the thrill. Upon entering into Cali, the road leads through the Redwood National and State Parks, which has some really haunting forest. I really love trees, so it was exciting to be driving through such dense and ancient forest.

The weather for this leg of our trip was a bit less than what we hoped for, but fairly standard for this part of the country. As has been the way with this whole adventure, we were introduced to sunny skies just before it was time for sunset. We were able to experience a breath-taking sunset on the coast, which was well-deserved if I do say so myself.

Tomorrow we have our last day of driving together. Through more Redwoods and finally arriving in San Francisco! !

Quotes of the Day

Michaela: That shower is gonna kick your ass.

Me and Michaela: I can't get enough of this shit!!

Day 9: Oregon

One thing I noticed that changes immediately when arriving in an urban coastal area is the traffic. For the past seven days we have been driving through the central part of the country - two lane highways and almost no other cars to worry about. Driving south from Seattle today I felt like I was back on the east coast: three-lane highways, lots of cars, and lots of idiots. As much as we were relieved to be back in proper civilization, I found myself longing for the wide open road.

Today we had one quick stop at Mount St. Helens, the huge volcano that erupted in 1980 creating a huge wave of destruction.

Because of our lack of desire to drive any longer than we had to, this was as close as we got to the mountain. Just stamped our passport books, and off we went.

Once we got off the interstate and started driving towards the coast, our path turned into a two-lane road encased by dense forest. I was glad to once again be in the company of trees. Eventually they gave way to this:

Yes, that would be the Oregon coast. Cannon Beach to be exact. The rocks you see in the ocean are known as the "haystacks". The town at the beach is completely adorable, not unlike a town on the cape. I could spend days in towns like this viewing all the little shops and absorbing the local atmosphere. The change in scenery was most welcome as things have been getting a little rough for Michaela and I. We are goddamn sick of driving. I'm pretty sure if she could have, Michaela would have gotten on a plane in Seattle and been done with it. But I'm glad she didn't.

Tonight our hotel is a local establishment called "Wheeler on the Bay Lodge", which is run by a wonderful couple and their sons who live on the premises. I confess, I was a little... taken aback by the place. We were expecting it to be in Tillamook, and it technically is in Tillamook county, but it's actually a miniscule little town outside of the city called Wheeler. I was fairly certain Michaela was either going to kill me or go into cardiac arrest. The place is nothing short of hilarious - our room, "the Garden Room", is decorated like someone's grandmother's apartment: wicker furniture and florals. But, once we got settled in a bit and got to know the owners, we decided it was good to be supporting a local business, not to mention a family. We had dinner at a local Mexican restaurant by the ocean. Fabulous.

Tomorrow is our last long day: 7.5 hours of easy coastal driving to Eureka, CA. Expect many more coast pictures.

Day 8: Seattle

I had been looking forward to seeing Seattle, but I was not at all prepared to fall madly in love with it. To hell with Los Angeles, I'm ending my trip here and becoming a fisherman. Just kidding... barely. Where to begin. First, on our way in we met up with my new roommate Brooks, who lives just outside of Seattle in a hilariously named city called Sammamish. He was nice enough to hang out with us, drive us into the city and show us around. My impression of the place is a cross between Burlington and what I imagine San Francisco to be. It has the young, hippy soul of Burlington, the drastic hill landscape of San Francsico, with weather somewhere in between the two and a culinary palette all its own.

Now most of you know that I'm a total foodie. I love to cook and I love to eat good, fresh food, particularly that which comes from the sea. I come from New England - we know really good seafood. Brooks took us to Pike Place Market, which completely blew my mind - even I was flabbergasted by the selection of fresh fish, not to mention produce, flowers, and many local/homemade odds and ends (including the most amazing sugar free organic chocolate sauce that I swear was better than Hershey's).

I knew nothing about Seattle before coming here and so was completely broadsided by the scope of the market. As much as I loved seeing it, I was also slightly tortured since I couldn't buy anything to bring home and cook.

Brooks, being a big dork like me, took me to an instrument shop filled with cool instruments from all time periods and locations.

They let you play all the things in their shop and are happy to engage in conversations about instrument origins and playing techniques. I told you - total dork!

Being in Seattle we of course had to see the original Starbucks. Hard to believe it all started from one little shop. From there we continued along the water to an amaaaaazing spice shop that was stocked with freshly ground spices and the shop's own special blends.

Again I was being a total dork and talking to the shop owner about spices and what he was making, etc. From there, Brooks took us to the pier where Michaela and I took a boat cruise around the sound. It was one hour long and gave us a full view of the city. We opted for this rather than going to the space needle, which costs $19 just to ascend and look. I would rather take pictures of the needle rather than be in it. I originally suggested we have dinner in the rotating restaurant up in the space needle until I realized dinner entrees started at $40. ha! But, Michaela was a good sport and joined me in a bit of an upscale dinner at Elliot's Oyster House, where I had a life changing oyster stew along with plank-cooked wild Alaskan salmon. Soooo gooood.

Seattle is someplace I could definitely see myself living or at least spending a good long while in. I love the vibe, the people, and the food. I'm sorry to be leaving it so soon, but we must keep going! Tomorrow onto Oregon and the Pacific Ocean!!!!

Quotes of the Day

Michaela (agitated): I'm so worried about my flight home - I'm going to go crazy.

Me: It'll be fine, just get drugged up and sleep.

Michaela (yelling): Get drugged up - ON WHAT?!?!

Me (yelling back): I don't know... MIDOL?!?

Me: Woah, did you see that billboard we just passed?

Michaela: No, what did it say?

Me: Michaela's a bitch.

Day 7: Montana & Idaho

Today has been perhaps our easiest day thus far. Only 6 hours of driving with no "must-see" places. I tallied it up and we have traveled 3087 miles as of tonight with about 1000 more to go. We crossed into our third and final time zone - yes, I am now officially on pacific time. I have found myself feeling rather tired with sporadic headaches, which has reminded me of two things. For one, I'm pretty sure I'm still on eastern standard time, and for another I'm probably at twice if not three times the altitude I was in NYC. I'm reminded of my summer in Aspen last year when a walk up a hill would cause my life to flash before my eyes. Considering we haven't stayed in any place long enough to orient ourselves with what the hell is going on, it is no mystery as to why I might feel a bit... out of it.

So remember yesterday when I said that Montana and the north entrance to Yellowstone is our new favorite place? Here is why:

Ridiculous. Today saw no real exciting things, at least not in comparison to yesterday. Michaela and I had our bout of usual driving shenanigans. We stopped in Missoula, Montana, which we didn't find to be quite as cool as Bozeman, where we stayed. I'm sorry to say that the scenery deteriorated greatly as we entered Idaho. We did stop in a little old mining town called Wallace, which was fairly depressing, though quaint with history.

We stopped in Coeur d'Alene, a town that fell considerably below our expectations, especially taking into account the researched hotel prices and hype surrounding their resorts on the lake. Unexpectedly, we have found the most pleasure in the little town in Washington we're staying in overnight called Liberty Lake. First we managed to avoid what I thought would be a total Michaela meltdown when we discovered our hotel to be nice, clean, and pleasant, which Michaela has a hard time believing when we are not staying at a Fairfield Inn. Then, we had a fantastic dinner at a local place called Otis Grill, where I enjoyed a patty melt and ice cream. Just after we arrived the joint was invaded by a little league team getting after having finished a game. Precious.

Tomorrow is a big day - Seattle!! AND I will be meeting my future roommate face to face for the first time. Get ready for yet another fun filled entry tomorrow!

Quotes of the Day

"Aggressive Drivers: Chill or pay the bill"

Seen on the highway - they must have known we were coming

"There's no god like Jehovah!"

Heard as part of a song on one of three radio stations in Idaho

Me: Michaela, I don't actually need anything, but could you just fish around the ice in the cooler for a bit?

Michaela: hm, could you go f*ck yourself? Thanks.

Day 6: Yellowstone and Tetons

Saddle up kids, this is gonna be a long one. After changing our route and making our commute today only 4 hours (perhaps the most exciting news of our lives), we were ready for a relaxing day through Yellowstone/Tetons and an early arrival at our hotel for rest and catch up. We left at 9am. We arrived at our destination in Montana at 8pm. So much for that. The fact of the matter is that we were so taken by the whole experience that we couldn't help but stop at every possible opportunity. Pictures seemed to take themselves as every turn revealed some new jaw-dropping scenery that made us either gasp or drive off the road (often both).

One great thing about driving through National Parks is that there are hundreds of little side trails and loops, picnic areas nestled with historic markers and structures, hiking trails, etc, etc. It's quite overwhelming as the main roads are enough to make your head spin, but I adore finding little treasures off the beaten path. While driving through the Tetons we did a side trip for Jenny Lake, which took us down a narrow, tree-encased one-way street that led to this:

Simply amazing. Also in the Tetons we came across a picnic area with a chapel called the Chapel of the Sacred Heart. It was just a little log cabin style house nestled in the woods, left open for the public to visit with a beautiful carved wooden interior.

I was so taken by this little structure, sitting here at a random point in the park for who knows how long, how many visitors, services, and prayerful passerbys. Neat. Now rest assured there are many many pictures from the Tetons National Park, too many for me to share here. Once I'm settled into Los Angeles, I will post all of my pictures in a public forum. For now, here is one more.

Once we were able to deal with ourselves and move on from the Tetons, we entered into Yellowstone. Truth be told, Michaela and I were both more taken with the beauty of the Tetons, but one cannot scoff at all the geothermic activity. This was the first (and probably the only) place we encountered actual car traffic, first entering into the park, and then again at Old Faithful. It's so funny to me how you can drive around the park for hours in solitude, but then once you get into Old Faithful you are bombarded by seemingly 1000s of swarming people. But I have to say it was worth navigating the NYC-style hordes:

Yes, that would be Old Faithful erupting. Holy crap. And it's not just Old Faithful and you leave, it's surrounded by a huge field of smaller geysers and crystal clear pools of boiling water.

Crazy. As amazing as all of this was, our hands-down favorite thing was the "Yellowstone Traffic Jam". So when a wildlife creature gets close enough to the road, someone pulls over and takes pictures. Of course everyone knows that's the only reason anyone pulls over, so it becomes a domino effect. One car leads to three, leads to an all out traffic jam in the wilderness. And the wildlife could care less.

Now, Michaela and I were totally in awe of both of these parks. We didn't think it could get any better... until we exited from the north of Yellowstone into Montata. We both decided we will be moving to Montana. Tomorrow the bulk of our travel is through the state, so there will be wonderful pictures to come.

Quotes of the day

"Be Bear Aware"

Me: Look at this traffic. This is effin ridiculous. (there were no cars anywhere)

Route Change!

You may have noticed that in the previous post I said we're stopping in Bozeman, Montana, which is not on our route map. Once we settled into Jackson and had dinner, Michaela and I took a serious look at our next leg of the trip. We had originally planned under the "let's push it and see everything" mantra, causing us to map an excursion up to Glacier National Park. It supposedly is absurdly gorgeous and we desperately want to see it, but it involves about 10 extra hours of driving. At the time it seemed doable, but since we've been "pushing it" for 6 days, we are now operating under the "I am goddamn tired" mantra. So, after serious consultation we are cutting it out of our trip. Sorry Glacier, we will miss you. We are going instead to Bozeman, Montana, only 4 hours from Jackson, which allows us to take our time through Yellowstone. It will then be 5.5 hours to Liberty Lake, WA, and only 4.5 hours from there to Seattle. At this point we are very relieved.

Also, this trip has caused me (and Michaela) to bond with my car, Val. She has been absolutely wonderful thus far. We have decided she definitely has the soul of a New Yorker in that she is not only able to drive and maneuver like a bat out of hell, but she will randomly sound her alarm if you do something to irritate her. When she was being worked on at the Saturn dealer, I laughed heartily to myself as I heard the alarm go off three times during the course of her repair. hehehe. This change in our trip will save her hundreds of miles of driving, and save us that much more money on gas. Good times. See you tomorrow!!

Another Quote of the Day

... I called to cancel our reservation at a hotel closer to Glacier and spoke to the nicest woman with the thickest midwestern accent...

Dawn: Oh, heavens to betsy, someone put in Jamaica, Montana!!!

Day 5: Gillette to Jackson, WY

One word: WYOMING. Once we got underway driving from Gillette, we couldn't help but fall completely in love with the state of Wyoming. Every time we thought we saw big mountains, we would turn the corner and see even bigger ones. Perhaps my favorite part about driving into Jackson Hole, which, for those of you unaware, is the bustling little town that sits just outside of Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons, is that there is no interstate that leads there. We were forced to take Route 16 the "Scenic Bi-Way", which wound us in between and over mountains, through canyons, past the smallest of small Wyoming towns, finally circling into Jackson. When we entered into the Grand Tetons at around 5pm, we were met with rainy weather. But, it was ok because the rain allowed me to take this picture:

Ridiculous, no? We have decided that tomorrow we will return to this road and get the views we may have missed from the cloud cover - we'll have to just suffer driving through this miserable place again. ;-)

Tomorrow we are spending the day driving up through all of the Tetons and Yellowstone and settling in the small town of Bozeman, Montana for the evening. Be prepared for some serious pictures and hysterical babble about how friggin beautiful everything is.

Quote of the Day

...outside taking pictures of a herd of wild horses...

Michaela (screaming): HI HORSES!!!!!!!

...stopped to take a picture of a deer looking at us from the side of the road...

Michaela (screaming): HI DEER!!!!!!!

... notice a pattern?

Day 4: SD to Gillette, WY

Today was a long day... a very long day. This morning began with an appointment at the Saturn dealer to fix my windshield wiper. For those who may not be aware, owning a car is like having a parasitic twin attached to your hip that can only be nourished with money. While a windshield wiper is a vitally important part of the car, it seems like a simple, innocent device - oh no. The wiper transmission regulator whatever-the-hell-it-is cost $436 and two hours for installation. Whoop-de-doo. But, there is always a bright side. Because we knew that we would be getting a later start, Michaela found a closer location to stay over night. She called to cancel her original reservation to discover she had made it for the wrong day. Same was true for the following night as well. So, had the windshield wiper not shit the bed, we would have arrived to our next location to find we had no reservation. Serendipity is indeed the word of the day.

So after all of the shenanigans, we left at about noon and drove clear across the state of South Dakota. The landscape continued to impress us as we continued to view wide open space after wide open space. After we crossed into mountain time, we began to see on the horizon the distant hue of mountains. Very exciting. As we approached the Badlands, the landscape changed very quickly. All of a sudden we went from wide, green, amazing open fields to:

Holy crap! Needless to say, we were both completely flabbergasted by the whole experience. We took the Badlands scenic loop, Route 244, about 60 miles of mind-blowing nature. Michaela could barely be contained. From here, we hauled ass over to Mount Rushmore, which is a solid 30 miles off the interstate, but worth the detour:

We also got got our fix of local hokiness by visiting WALL DRUG, in Wall, South Dakota, for which we spent a solid 250 miles previous looking at hundreds of ridiculous billboards. It was a hilariously over the top old west-themed outdoor mall that I found to be very entertaining. I mean, what else can these people do? Michaela and I were also taken aback by icky commercialism surrounding Mount Rushmore. Endless themed strip-malls, restaurants, and nonsense. I guess that's just how it goes.

After having a lovely dinner at a restaurant on the Rushmore trail involving a very sweet waiter from Oklahoma, we made the way to our hotel, 120 miles away, in Gillette, Wyoming, arriving at 11:00pm. Long. Grueling. But completely worth it.

Day 3: Chicago to Sioux Falls, SD

So here we are in fabulous Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Joy. Rapture. Unfathomable bliss. Today was our longest day of driving: 9 hours. When we were in the stages of planning, we decided that it made the most sense to bomb through the middle of the country and get to the parks and the west coast (where we really want to be) all the sooner. Still, 9 hours is a whole lot of driving. The good thing about us is we make our own fun - lots of stops and side trips to break up the driving. Luckily for us, today we started seeing some dramatic change in landscape.

Growing up on the East Coast, neither Michaela nor I are used to flat land. Driving through Minnesota and into South Dakota, I found myself in a vast expanse of wide open space, able to see for miles and miles. Crops spread out over countless acres of land, with farm houses nestled into small oasis-like clumps of trees. But perhaps the most exciting sight was this:

Hells yeah!

In addition to the landscape we also crossed the Mississippi River today and saw perhaps the most random place ever: the Wisconsin Dells, which consisted of miles of water parks and bizzarely-themed locations involving dinosaurs and polar bears. Michaela also saw two LIVE deer in our travels, which was good for her.

I should also report that we had our first (and hopefully only) car drama. Michaela was driving and pulled the lever to clean the windshield when suddenly the driver's side wiper went flailing all over the place. We pulled over to discover it was nothing that we could fix, so we found a repair shop using my trusty GPS. The place was run by some very very nice Minnesota boys who informed me that there is something wrong with the wiper transmission apparatus (??), which happens to be a part that can only be acquired by a Saturn dealer. The mechanic was nice enough to coat my windeshield in Rain-x and google the address and phone number for a Saturn dealer in Sioux Falls. The part is in stock and we have an appointment at 9:30am tomorrow. Hopefully all will go smoothly!

Tomorrow is another long day, 8 hours, but it is very exciting as we encounter our first park stops: Badlands, Mount Rushmore, and the Black Hills National Forest.

Anecdote of the day

...after passing a mangled deer carcass on the road...

Michaela (tear-stricken): That wasn't Bambi's mom, was it?

Me: No, it was just his Aunt... and she was a bitch anyway, so it's fine.

Day 2: Ohio to Chicago

There is one very valuable lesson to be learned from today: driving 6.5 hours through Ohio and Indiana is like wandering your way through purgatory. Farms, fields, and more farms are all you will see, one blending into the next as if you're not really moving at all. To break up the relentless backdrop, Michaela and I decided to make an impromptu trip to Lake Erie (top right). We drove up to a little peninsula in an area referred to the Ohio Coast. Apparently Ohio has coast - who knew? We found it to be serene and beautiful. As refreshing as it was, it did not cure us of our disdain for Ohio or Indiana... sorry. But, one good thing I can say: it is really easy driving. No people, no cars, no backups, AND the speed limit is 70mph, which is very exciting for us. The even better news is that all the driving was worth getting to Chicago. I have never been and I find it to be a clean and lovely city. I think living in NYC has desensitized me to crowds and city life because I found myself saying: "where the hell is everyone?" I drove us in and found it to be laughably easy to get around, not to mention immaculately kept up. Since calling Michaela about this trip over two months ago, she has been talking about Chicago deep dish pizza. So, we met up with our friends Jess and Kris and had us some pizza. I can see why Mich was so excited - it was pizza to die for. I cringe to think of how many calories there are per slice. In addition to gorging ourselves, we went to the top of the John Hancock, visited the pier, and went to Millenium Park where Michaela just HAD to see "the bean." I, quite frankly, don't get it, but there is a picture of it here anyway. I feel fairly certain I will using this against her for our entire trip. Tomorrow - a long and equally excruciating day to Sioux Falls, South Dakota!

Anecdote of the day:

I feel you should all know that more than

once today we have stopped for a bathroom break, Michaela has gone into the bathroom, come back out, gotten in the car and said to me "I have to pee again." Yes, this is who I'm traveling with.

Day 1: NYC to Youngstown, Ohio

Let me first introduce you to our GPS vehicle, pictured to the left. Yes, it is a pink bus we call Ferby. Actually we call it Ferby Bitch, but I'm trying to keep this blog clean. You may have noticed that, contrary to the google map of our trip, we traveled to Ohio today and not Pittsburgh. This was decided on Monday when we realized it was a good 90 minutes out of our way for no good reason. Instead we chose Youngstown, only 6.5 hours away, and another 6.5 to Chicago. This made much more sense considering Pitts to Chi was 8 hours and honestly, neither of us really cared about seeeing it (sorry Pittsburgh - I'm sure you're great).

So you ever wonder what's between New York City and Ohio? Bambi. Dead. Seriously, as much as I love the state of Pennsylvania, our trip today consisted mostly of trees, hills, and roadkill. Today was a very long day for both of us. By the time we crossed the border to Ohio both Michaela and I reached a functional state of delirium, the symptoms of which included bursting into hysterical fits of laughter over inane things and shrieking incoherently on the phone to our friends. Nothing much to report about Youngstown. Tomorrow - Chicago!!

Quotes of the day:

Michaela: Look, a train!! (an old train car being towed in the other direction)

Me: Oh wow! :: drives off the road ::

Michaela (screaming): PUNXATAWNEY!!!! LIKE PHIL!!!!!!

Moving Day

So today was the big day. The movers were scheduled to arrive at 9am - they came at 8:15. Needless to say I was caught slightly off guard. No sooner did the movers call my phone then were they in my house taking stuff out. As happy as I was to not be one of the people having to schlep the Mount Sinai of stairs to my apartment, to my surprise I felt a little... vulnerable? weird? I mean, I've spent the last two months packing my life into boxes and in a matter of minutes they are being manhandled by a group of Russian movers, packing it all into a truck that I will not see until I get to LA two weeks from now. It's strange... but liberating.

I have to tell you - the movers were at the house at 8:15 and packed and done at 10. For me and anyone I know willing to help me, it would have been a three day project at least. The movers made several comments about the stairs - I don't blame them. Four years of climbing up those godforsaken steps and even today I saw my life flash before my eyes once I got to the top. The guys worked their asses off and didn't let those stairs get in their way at all.

I must also confess to all of you readers considering a large scale move like this: don't do it alone. Have a tremendously good friend to be with you the day it happens. Even though I didn't have to lift a box, it was overwhelming to say the least. I was lucky enough to have Michaela, who can be seen below cheerfully vacuuming. I was extremely grateful to have her there.. not only was she a big help, she helped keep my head from spinning off.

Quotes of the day:

Me (in Pennsylvania): I'm not moving.

Michaela (in Ohio): I'm not going with you.

The 11th Hour

Since Michaela arrived on Sunday, I've been consistently saying to her "christ, I can't believe you're here..." It didn't seem to be phasing her as much as me. This evening, we were out running some errands. We got home, she sat down on the couch, looked at me and said, "holy sh*t, we're leaving tomorrow!" Clearly it has hit home with her, too.

It has been quite a day. The last remnants of my crap have been thrown into boxes, the refrigerator has been emptied and cleaned, clothes thrown into bins and suitcases, things mailed, provisions acquired... it is here... staring me in the face. Tonight both Steve and Phyllis were home. They gave me (and Michaela) what Steve referred to as "my last supper." For those who may not be aware, my living situation in NYC has been one of a kind. I don't so much rent this apartment as I've been adopted into the family that owns it. For four years they have fed me, laughed with me, supported me, and given me a tremendous space to call home. I'm not so much a moving tenant as I am saying goodbye to a part of my extended family. This difficult farewell extends to those friends who have become a staple of my life here in NYC - you know who you are. You make this move bittersweet, and for that I am grateful.

Now here I sit, 2:45am, wide awake, watching the minutes tick by until we greet the dawn and await the arrival of the movers. My next post will be from the road. Ready or not, here we come.

Taste of Things to Come

Just wanted to share a conversation I had with Michaela recently to give you a preview of the shenanigans to come. 

Me: I think I'll grab peanut butter at Costco for our trip. 

Michaela: I'm picky about peanut butter. Make sure it's Skippy reduced fat. 

Me: I'm pretty sure the only brand they have is "shut the hell up" 

Michaela: Hm, maybe you should check to see if they have "F*** you" peanut butter. 

Me: Ok, but in that case we'll have to get "you're a Crazy Bitch" Jelly.

We then agreed we should be keeping a notebook of the stuff we say to each other. You can definitely expect blog quotes of the day. Oh the fun that lies ahead for you faithful readers. :-D

Family Times

So immediately after leaving my job, I left for Massachusetts where I spent four days running around like a crazy person seeing family and friends. The first night included a spectacularly good time with 5 friends at Bugaboo Creek in Braintree where I managed to alienate a bar tender, make our waiter jealous, and caused a hysterical laughing fit by imitating how my mother sneezes (we love you, ma). Sunday afternoon was one of the best afternoons I've had in a long time. My Aunt Judy, being the great person she is, pulled the whole family together for a bbq in honor of my abandoning them for the west coast. We had a blast - I even played croquet, which was quite possibly the first sporting activity I've ever seen through from start to finish, not to mention the first one I've even attempted in 15 years. That same night I the last Massachusetts contingent of my mom's family. I spent some time with my cousins and had my first introduction to the Nintendo Wii - damn you, Chris! Monday was divided into two. First, some quality time with my friend Natalie, who I was fortunate enough to meet through my cousin some years ago. Cheesesteaks, Nantasket Beach, and The Force Unleased for Playstation made for a fantastic afternoon. Then it was off to Southie for some qt with Mary - I've known her and her family since second grade. We walked around her neighborhood, which is lovey, had a wonderful dinner, then joined her brother Tim in Quincy for some tunes at the Bar. There I saw another cousin, Mike, and we were able to catch up for a bit. Tuesday it was back to NYC. 

Wednesday began round two. My parents arrived from Florida for a fun-filled five days. We took a two-day trip to Pennsylvania to see our relatives who live out there. When I was a kid our entire family would caravan 7 hours from MA every year to spend fourth of July out there. 

I hadn't been out there in over 6 years, and let me tell you the memories all came flooding back. We went and saw my great grandmother's house, which I only have vague memories of from when I was very very young.  I would love to include pictures of it, but they are on my desktop, which is currently packed tightly away in an enormous box shown to the left. My parents proved to 

be quite a big help in getting this place packed up. We got all kinds of crap sealed up, which was fantastic.

All in all it was a really incredible week of family fun time. Now just one more week until the moving truck comes. Holy crap!